Monday, February 6, 2023

Year Thirteen

Yes. 13 is many years. I like to blog, I do not like schedules.

But you know what? I do not owe anything to anyone in terms of releasing my shit on any kind of schedule. In fact, no one can force me to release my shit at all! Pain is complete and still unreleased. I think it's a really good game - but I cannot make it happen. I still have no strength to finish the artwork. And I don't have - and most likely will never have - strength to promote my games, my music, my art.

And I don't fucking care.

I do have my day job and I can still afford to eat. And even though I like when people buy my stuff, I find it extremely stressful to promote myself and my creations. I find zero joy in doing any kind of promotion - even sending the review copies hurts my brain haha (especially because approximately 75% of all people who received the review materials never bothered to review them). So - fuck it. I don't care anymore. I just want to create and release shit, even if no one will ever read it, yet alone use it in his/her/its games. The process of creation should be the reward itself.

OK, so what are my plans for this year, in terms of hobby?

None, to be honest. I never was able to keep up with promises, so fuck them. I do work on something new/old/whatever right now (another successor of the Terminal Space) but it will be quite big, with weird artwork and totally packed with gibberish nonsense. But it will take me years to complete it. So no promises.

All be well.




  1. Hope you haven't decided to throw in the towel Dr. R. Have a fine year!

    1. I'm just, how to say that, socially tired. Way too much negativity in the internetz nowadays - or at least it took decades to finally hit me, haha! I have enough social media fuss about this and that. I know I myself fueled the fire with my shitty post but eh, I finally snapped! I will still produce new gaming material - the creative process means too much for me.
      Heck, I think I'll delete the post, it's way too toxic...

    2. I've been known to have my moments of bitterness so I sympathize. I discovered Terminal Space in 2013, a short time after I got in via Grognardia. I thought your work was always wonderfully quixotic, a unique voice, and I meant what I said about it being inspiring material. Don't let general dissatisfaction with the ossifying hobby tarnish a proud legacy.

      Speaking of which:

      You live in europe right? Consider it.

    3. just wow... I must consider participating in it!

  2. If you do, Melan and I are going as well, alongside some other notables.

  3. I should say, In case you do, we are going no matter what obviously

  4. It's not that expensive - especially for a con in a palace! But it may be quite costly for me haha. But I will try to be there!

  5. Terminal Space rules and Ashen Void is great! I think you're on the right path already, it's perhaps simply a matter of adopting the viewpoint that makes you happy.