November Nastiness! Random NPCs!

Is it November already?

Please, enjoy this little random table that may help you create some lovely NPCs for your game.

Exotic hirelings' races/origins

 

Tired of bland and ordinary meatshields? FUCK 'EM UP! Roll 1d100 and see their totally insane origins:

1. Rhino Man
2. Wooden automaton
3. Sentient Crab
4. Inverted Silver Pyramid
5. Giant Halfling
   
6. Skinless One
   
7. Clay Golem
8. Pink Elf
9. Cat
   
10. Mummy
11. Orc Gentleman
12. Merman / Mermaid
13. Clockwork Man
14. Clock Man
    
15. Glowing Kobold
16. Rusty Iron Dwarf
17. Fire Drake
18. Animated Lead Soldier
    
19. Two-Headed Minotaur
20. Lamprey Vampire
21. Masked Cosmic Horror
22. Animated Sword
23. Eel Lord / Lady
24. Chain Golem
25. Warrior's Spirit
26. Carp Man
    
27. Doppelganger
28. Wererabbit
29. Tortoise Man
30. Elegant Skeleton
    
31. Animated Armor
32. Animated Candelabra
33. Sentient Caterpillar
    
34. Floating Skull
35. Mimic
36. Pig Man
37. Fallen Angel
    
38. Cinder Golem
39. Talking Horse
40. Centaur
41. Spiked Mannequin
    
42. Invisible Stalker
43. Invisible Giant
44. Floating Hypercube
45. Pack of Dogs
46. Eternal Child
47. Floating Eye
48. Gelatinous Man
49. Garden Gnome
50. Heron Man
51. Ice Statue
52. Unshackled Demon
53. Mushroom Man
54. Werepython
55. Snail Man
56. Animated Tree
57. Bison Man
    
58. Barbarian Robot
59. Locust Man
60. Anvilhead
61. Mantis Man
62. Sad Ghost
63. Pygmy Ogre
64. Frog Man
65. Lady in a Painting
66. Alien Amoeba
    
67. Animated Chair
68. Sparrow Prince / Princess
69. Dimensional Snatcher
70. Mandragora
71. Ghoul
72. Color Thief
73. Narwahl Man
74. Headless Horseman
75. Perfumed Zombie
    
76. Flower Man 
77. Goblin Noble
    
78. Scorpion Man
79. Shimmering Gremlin
80. Animated Cloak
81. Trash Golem
82. Phoenix Man
83. Union of Small Goblins
84. Ugly Succubus / Incubus
85. Tin Automaton
86. Antimagical Statue
87. Three-Headed Man
88. Wool Golem
89. Troglodyte Noble
90. Crocodile Man
91. Animated Fossil
    
92. Unbound Marionette
93. Humanoid Ooze
94. Cathedral-less Gargoyle
95. Thawed One
96. Swarm of Sentient Mice
97. Broken Saint
98. Dragon Pup
    
99. Crystal Man
100. Forgotten Deity

Annoying traits of the hirelings

1. Chronic runny nose
2. Sleepwalking
3. Delusions of grandeur
4. Lecherous
5. Alcoholic
6. Sleep-talking (or rather sleep-shouting!)
7. Fear of horses
8. Navel picker
9. Lazy
   
10. Horrible bad breath
11. Ascetic to the point of absurdity
12. Fear of magic
13. Goblin makeup
14. Constantly falling in love
15. Curse of flatulence
16. Eats only fish (has own supply of dried cave trout)
17. Almost deaf but pretends his/her hearing is excellent
18. Wears only red
19. Night blindness
20. Extreme atheist

Only two months more and I'll manage to post something each month of 2024! It will be my first year with regular, monthly posting since... uhh, 2013? 

Traits of the hirelings

Roll d20:
1.    Greedy
2.    Drunkard
3.    Jealous
4.    Over-confident
5.    Pessimist
6.    Loyal
7.    Coward
8.    Crude
9.    Lustful
10.  Stingy
11.  Nervous
12.  Hot-blooded
13.  Optimist
14.  Quarrelsome
15.  Paranoid
16.  Trusty
17.  Insecure
18.  Brash
19.  Yielding
20.  Roll twice