The end... of something

All my products on DTRPG and Lulu will be available until the end of August. Then, I'll nuke all my content on both stores.

It may return one day but I don't promise anything. 

Death Moon Hallucinations

Gibberish stuff for the game I currently work on. Yup, I shifted my posting duties from here to Substack - but I do not plan on giving up on this blog.

Hallucinations by Albert

d12, d12, d12, d12!

Read on Substack

Time Flies!

Seventeen years of blogging? Probably. And I'm still more or less active! Yay!

Also, check out my Substack about the design process of my UGLYPUNK SOLO RPG!

But, I digress. Behold the...

TIME FLIES

Swarm od 12d10

HD 1, HP 1

AC 3

Bite 1d2-1 damage. Each successful bite requires the victim to save vs magic or they become unnaturally aged by 1 day.

Eating a dead Time Fly unnaturally ages by 6d6 days.

Aging caused by Time Flies is irreversible by any means other than divine intervention or Wish.

Enjoy! 

Unsettling Discoveries - the Village

 

 

Roll 1d8 and have a nice day! 

1. The village elder is a vampire. He feeds only on visitors.
2. Village's Old Well is full of corpses. The corpses are animated.
3. Something is possessing the cattle. The possessed beasts all go north.
4. All children have disappeared overnight and their parents are hiding it.
5. There is a Death Worm living under a shrine. It controls the local cleric. 
6. This year's crop failure was caused by a blasphemous ritual that took place on the fields.
7. Each second child born in the village was sacrificed in the woods. 
8. All villagers are doppelgangers. 

I'll just leave it here

Welcome to 2026! And to another project of mine. This one is different. I make it for myself. But I like to show off my wacky ideas!

clicky 

A new beginning. The Road of the Thousand Gods

  

I created a new blog.

I like this place, but it's almost impossible to use it as a design journal for one particular project. There are simply too many of them. This blog has become more of a cesspool of ideas - and an arena where I release my random tables to the public.

For the last few months I've been working on something new. And I still don't know the final direction this project will head to. However, after about one hundred pages of notes I think I'm ready to start posting about it. Both for myself, to be able to clarify some things (and ask questions) and for your entertainment. 

We shall see how my adventure on the Road of the Thousand Gods will develop. Wish me luck!

The Winding Road 

December Doom! Cursed Cutlery!

 

1. Turns every food it touches into goblin feces.
2. Poisons every food it touches (save or blindness for 1d6 minutes). Maybe could be used as poisoned weapon, who knows?
3. This shit is animated and hostile! 1HP, AC3, 1d2 damage, levitates.
4. Once put in mouth, it sticks to one's lips / gums / tongue with a very powerful, magical adhesive it produces. Sucks to be you.
5. Once put in mouth, it becomes searing hot (1d6 damage). 
6. Cannot be used for eating. Knives are unable to cut anything other than user'a fingers, spoons seem to be leaky, forks automatically miss every bit of food. Ladles breathe stinking, corrosive gas. Hope you don't have a ladle.
7. Once the cutlery's user starts to eat, they must save vs magic or become so ravenous that nothing can stop them from devouring anything that is even remotely edible. Bones, wood, shoes, vermin, pets, infants, halflings. Failed saving throws can be re-attempted once per hour.
8. The cutlery is possessed by an entire family of lesser demons. They are able to communicate telepathically with others. They promise amazing treasure in exchange for "stabbing someone with the cutlery right in the heart". Of course, they're full of shit. Such stabbing would just swap the souls of the victims with the demonic essences trapped in the items.

I honestly don't know how I figure this shit out. It just appears in my mind.  

SSS: Stupid Space Structures

1. A Generation Ship race. It has started approximately 12000 years ago. No one remembers where the end line is.
2. A fake planet made of styrofoam. Entire ecosystem of polystyrene-dependent creatures inhabit its surface.
3. The Yellow Embassy. Occupied by the alien species that communicate by urinating on themselves and their interlocutors. Free beer for everyone.
4. A terraformed "paradise planet" with a functional space ladder as the only safe way to reach its surface.
5. A Great War-era German U-Boat, crewed by Kaiservampires.
6. One trillion-Watt lightbulb, as big as an orbital shipyard. Probably nothing can power it. Cult of Energy Preservation and the Church of the Unborn Light are at war for its control.

Yup this one is really useless. 

Ashen Void will be unavailable from Jan 2026 onwards

As I mentioned here, I will nuke Ashen Void in January 1st. It won't be available anymore. If you want to grab yourself a copy, do it now.

December Doom! Cursed Amulets!

Aaaand for the second year in the row I managed to put out at least one post per month. I will not lie - I'm kinda proud of myself!

PS. Yes. Rusty Beads of the Itching Ecstasy sound particularly wicked.

Octagram Amulet

 

Magical pendant made of tarnished copper. Unusually heavy. Indestructible.

• Once worn, the Amulet cannot be removed with any means other than magic.
• Each morning, it heals its wearer by 8 HP. Obviously, if their HP are already at max, nothing happens. 
• After he 8th healing provided this way, the Amulet drains one of its wearer's stat by 1.
• If wearer's level or any of their stats is reduced to zero while the Octagram Amulet is worn, the wearer dies. After 8 hours, they are transformed into a Green Wight (HD +1, 2 attacks per turn, level drain, undead).
• Any attack that would cause the Amulet's wearer to lose exactly 8HP, deals only 1 point of damage instead. 
• The amulet hums and vibrates in the vicinity of Fish Men, Cockroach Men, Bird Men and Mole Men.

 

Weird behavior of the NPCs

 

1. Jumping on one leg
2. Talking to themselves in falsetto
3. Faking seizures
4. Scratching their body fervently
5. Fist fighting invisible opponent(s)
6. Laying on the ground and attempting to swim in the air
7. Walking on hands 
8. Faking casting spell
9. Laying face down
10. Playing dead 

Why?

1. Demonic possession
2. Intoxication
3. Mental illness
4. Magical curse / spell
5. Parasites!
6. Lost bet
7. Acting
8. Just because