Friday, July 12, 2024

Pain... is Eternal.


It's been over two years since I finished writing Pain. And despite my best efforts, I couldn't do anything with it. I tried to make some artwork (and I even succeeded with some attempts!) and some layouts (and I failed miserably). But there was an issue.

I felt something is wrong with the game.

And it took me two years to figure it out.

There was a problem with immersion - weird world isn't a problem itself, but weird world combined with really unusual playable "race" is bad. So bad that even I was unable to "feel" the game.

So, it's time to rework. And probably like 30% of the game (like 70 pages of text) must go. But it must be done - and honestly, I feel excited. Because it seems that this time I'll be able to do it right.

I just need to re-include humans. The Unliving Ones are cool - but the players need to be able to relate to their characters. To their drives, goals and emotions. Their fear and hunger.

So, back to work! I'm unsure whether I will keep you up to date, as I noticed a strange tendency of mine - the less I write about some projects, the more progress I'm able to make. It's weird and probably subconscious. And even though you should be used to be disappointed with decade-spanning delays, let's make an experiment and not post much about Pain in the upcoming days/weeks/millennia. At least not here!

By the way - new weird random table (Mystic Flowers) is coming soon!

Cheers and thanks for your ceaseless support throughout the last fifteen years or so.

Monday, June 3, 2024

Six Mystic Moons


Here are some magical/mystical/occult properties of moon - or moons, that may be usable in your games.

  1. Death Moon. Occurs once every six years - or when the monarch is murdered. All the corpses that are more than 100 years old rise from their graves and start to hunt down the living. All the spirits of the cursed royalty do the same.
  2. Pink Moon. Occurs during the Coldest Day of the Spring. It's said that a minor deity known as the Elder Elk blesses their followers during that time. Also, it's the only day in a year when the spirit of the Stag Prince can be summoned.
  3. Summoner's Moon. In the past, it occurred at least twice per year but it's said that the Council of Seven Mages managed to remove the prerequisites for it happening from the world. All dogs go mad during the Summoner's Moon. All cattle become apathetic and all birds stop to sing. Demons are extremely easy to summon - and almost impossible to bind.
  4. Iron Moon. Occurs sixteen days after a major natural disaster - but only once a year. It's said that all automata, golems and homunculi break from their magical shackles and depart on a strange journey in search of the Mountain of Hollow Power.
  5. Crimson Eclipse. It's said that it happens once every millennium. During that time the Shadow God descends (ascends?) from the Un-Heavens to hunt down other deities. All priests lose their powers during that time, as their gods try to hide their presence from the Void Hunter.
  6. Diviner's Crescent. Takes place once every season. People say that no one's life can end violently during the Night of the Diviner. Every invisible object or creature that is illuminated by the dim light of the Crescent reveals its existence. Legend states that it's the only time when the Spectral Palace can be located and accessed.

Monday, May 13, 2024

Weird Quirks of Ship AI (Terminal Space/SWN/Sci-Fi weirdness)


  1. Believes to be a person, imprisoned somewhere aboard the ship.
  2. Claims to be possessed by a Nebular Demon.
  3. Previously installed on a hi-tech Black Ops spy ship. Memory wiped.
  4. Sometimes glitches out and spews gibberish numbers. The numbers are in fact a pirate star chart encrypted within AI's memory.
  5. Secretly worshiped as a deity by the ship's maintenance bots. Secretly enjoys being revered.
  6. Huge fan of poetry. Especially of its own making. Absolutely terrible at writing poems.
  7. Gathers theoretical knowledge about particular branch of medicine. Roll 1d6: 1 otology, 2 nephrology, 3 orthodontics, 4 proctology, 5 lymphology, 6 endocrinology.
  8. Its system glitches manifest as apocalyptic visions kf the future.
  9. Gathers theoretical knowledge about particular branch of biology. Roll 1d6: 1 mycology, 2 dendrology, 3 myrmecology, 4 ornithology, 5 phycology, 6 parasitology.
  10. Has been previously installed on a semi-legal Pleasure Barge. Despite that its memory has been wiped, it displays particularly lecherous demeanor.

Friday, April 26, 2024

YASS (Yet Another Stupid Sale)


Aaand once again all my DTRPG shit is discounted. The sale will last for one week. Get some pee dee effs if you want to support me - and read some mediocre English!


Thursday, April 25, 2024

Six Befouled Ponds

  1. Filled with blue-green tar. The tar isn't poisonous or anything - but it's extremely easy to be trapped and drown in it. And its fumes are hallucinogenic.
  2. The water is rancid and grey. Various toxic molds grow on the pond's edges. There's a huge Pink Leech hiding at the pool's bottom.
  3. The water is crystal clear and suitable for drinking. Unfortunately, there are at least seventeen Jade Shamblers growing in the tall, sapphire grass surrounding the pond.
  4. The local tribe is using the pond as a sacrificial place for their gods. Once each season they drown some of their cattle in deep, dark waters. Each full moon, the undead oxen and cows crawl out of the pool.
  5. Ground around the pool is covered with dozens of statues of various animals. Some of them seem to be in perfect condition, while other are shattered and/or heavily weathered. Any living being that drinks from the pond must save vs Magic or turns into stone within 1d4 minutes.
  6. The thick liquid in the pond is of brown-red color. It emits a horrid stench of death and decay. Three monoliths of polished black stone surround the pool. Each sunset, three Iron Demons descend from the blood-red sky to drink from the pond. Even though they seem to be hostile towards any other being, it's said that they can grant power to those whose souls are absolutely corrupted and blackened by sin.

Wednesday, April 24, 2024

Ten Prosthetic Arms

  1. Has a small dart gun concealed in the forearm (1 point of damage, easy to poison);
  2. Covered with pink fur, fingers tipped with razor-sharp claws (+1 to hit, 1d6 melee damage);
  3. Has a metal, spike-tipped buckler attached to the forearm (-1 AC, 1d4 melee damage if used as a weapon);
  4. Has a coin storage and dispenser installed inside (coin capacity 137);
  5. Covered with nasty spikes and hooks (makes climbing easier, 1d3 melee damage);
  6. Hides a spool with 12ft of thin but very durable rope;
  7. Has a magical Glow-Crystal installed in the palm of the hand;
  8. Has a scroll tube concealed in the forearm (capacity of 3 scrolls or letters);
  9. The hand can be easily detached - and  be used as a handle for the jagged blade hidden in the forearm (1d6+1 melee damage);
  10. The hand can be shot forward by the spring-loaded mechanism. It remains attached to the rest of the prosthetic by five feet of string. Unfortunately, the mechanism is too weak to be used as a weapon.

Sunday, April 21, 2024

Six High Tech Items


  1. Uncalibrated Hypervision Goggles. Allow to see through walls - but the wall must be at least 3ft thick.
  2. Diadem of Digital Brilliance. Its wearer should be treated as their Intelligence score is 27 (!). Can be used to telepathically communicate with AI, computers and even semi-smart machinery and tools.
  3. Hypercubic Snare. A trap that can immobilize any immaterial beings - ethereal, extra-dimensional, even holographic ones. Doesn't work on any corporeal creatures or objects
  4. Laser shield. Thick, metal bracelet, emiting grid of light that resembles a kite shield. Provides AC3 versus all heat and light-based weapons, such as fire, lightning, lasers etc. AC is reduced to 4 if the weapon is magical.
  5. Troglo-Comms. A communicator that allows conversating with primitive creatures - some animals, prehistoric humanoids, and politicians. Unfortunately, the stupidest the creature is, the faster device overheats and needs to cool down. Time to overheat varies between one hour in the case of apes or troglodytes and one minute if one tries to speak with invertebrates.
  6. Space Goblin Lockpick. Can be used to open any electronic lock. The process lasts for 1d6 minutes. Unfortunately, after the door/container is closed afterwards, it automatically jams.

Sunday, March 24, 2024

Night Club! (new magic...item?)


I know it's stupid. That's why I made it!

This carved club, made of polished walnut, possesses some peculiar magical abilities:

  • Club's all magical powers activate only after sunset and last until dawn. The weapon should be treated as ordinary, although strange-looking wooden club.
  • It's a +2 magical weapon.
  • It grants 30% resistance versus alcohol and narcotics, atop of normal saving throws.
  • It grants +3 Charisma bonus versus all genders that the Club's wielder is interested in.

Artwork by me!

Monday, March 4, 2024

Twelve Things Unearthed By Mistake


  1. Huge iron bottle with a Demon of Three Plagues trapped inside.
  2. Key to the Tomb of the Mummified Emperor.
  3. Skull of the Headless Avenger.
  4. Monolith of the Deluge.
  5. Entrance to the Tunnels of Doom.
  6. Previously missing tip of the Sword of Betrayal.
  7. Silver casket, created to trap the Eternal Queen.
  8. Crown of Madness, still adorning the Lunatic King's skull.
  9. Divine Cork, plugging the Well of Thousand Locusts.
  10. Hypercube of the Negative Dimensions.
  11. Door to the Prison of the Sixty Thief Lords.
  12. Bell of the Earthquakes.

Friday, March 1, 2024

Magical Snares


No, it's not about the type of drums. I'm sorry if I disappointed you.

Roll 1d6:

  1. Any caught creature must save vs. magic to avoid falling asleep for as long as it remains ensnared.
  2. When triggered, it emits extremely loud sound of a bell. Then, an extremely loud voice speaks the name of the ensnared creature (or its species if it has no name).
  3. Any caught creature must save vs. magic to avoid being teleported to a cell inside the nearby tower, belonging to the Mavue Wizard.
  4. When triggered, an undead (and hostile) skeletal warrior pops out of existence at the beginning of each of 1d6 turns after the trap's activation.
  5. Any caught creature must save vs. magic or its level will be drained by 1. If reduced to zero or below, the creature will become a slave to the Ochre Wizard.
  6. The snare can be triggered only by females. Any caught creature must save vs. magic to avoid becoming obsessed with the thoughts of Cerulean Wizard, even if they have never seen or heard of them.

The Ochre Wizard regretted creating his Trap of Irresisitible Affection in such haste. Now his tower is besieged by the menagerie of weird animals, all female. Not a single woman had fell into his trap in five years. But the beasts and the monsters keep flocking to his keep.

Tuesday, February 27, 2024

Ten artifacts that fell from the sky

  1. A boat made of transparent material. There are several intricate mechanisms visible inside locked compartments on its bow and stern.
  2. An enormous brass cogwheel. Its surface is covered in runes and reliefs depicting equine creatures.
  3. A helmet made of shiny metal. It has a system of pipes protruding from its back and sides. Too large for humans to wear.
  4. 20-feet long metal rod, as thick as man's arm. Each of its ends is tipped with a sizable spherical object. One of them is really hot to the touch, while the other is very cold.
  5. An anchor. Its surface is painted gold and adorned with wreaths and colorful ribbons.
  6. Sword made of opalescent metal. Its edges are jagged and its handle is weirdly curved, making it unwieldy for most humanoids. It's extremely light.
  7. A human-sized flask made of extremely tough glass. It is capped with a partly-destroyed clockwork contraption that looks like it was ripped from a larger mechanism. The jar is filled with light red, translucent liquid.
  8. Huge cubical monolith made of polished black stone. There are at least dozen metal pipes protruding from each of its sides. Smaller pipes or cables are coming out of each pipe.
  9. A child-sized metal mirror, framed in gold. Reflections of any living beings are shimmering and weirdly twitching, while inanimate object look perfectly normal. The mirror emits constant, low-pitched hum.
  10. Giant humanoid made from matte, gray metal. Its skin has many segments and its arms and legs have too many joints. Its eyes are made of green crystals.

Thursday, February 22, 2024

Five Magical Jars [Aldarien's Magic Tome]

Some random glass containers! You'll get five more in the Aldarien's Magic Tome! And now roll 1d10:

1-2: Lantern Jar. Contains a glowing fish inside; fish must be fed insects once per day or it will stop emitting light and will die after 2d4 days.
3-4 Musical Jar. When opened, it will emit very loud sound for 2 turns(1d6: 1 war horns, 2 out of tune violin and pleas for help, 3 delicate lullaby played on a lute, 4 dissonant harpsichord, 5 hypnotic drumming, 6 flutes and oboes).
5-6 Jar of Hungry Transmutation. Transmutes food into gold and gold into food. The process lasts 1d4 hours. Eating partially transmuted objects is probably a bad idea.
7-8 Jar of Whispering Lies. One must shout a question inside the Jar – after 1d3 turns it whispers the answer. The only problem is that the response is a lie – if possible, an exact opposite of the truth.
9-10 Jar of Mending. When shattered, the remains will slowly (24h) crawl to one another to reattach the Jar.