- Turns every food it touches into goblin feces.
- Poisons every food it touches (save or blindness for 1d6 minutes). Maybe could be used as poisoned weapon, who knows?
- This shit is animated and hostile! 1HP, AC3, 1d2 damage, levitates.
- Once put in mouth, it sticks to one's lips / gums / tongue with a very powerful, magical adhesive it produces. Sucks to be you.
- Once put in mouth, it becomes searing hot (1d6 damage).
- Cannot be used for eating. Knives are unable to cut anything other than user'a fingers, spoons seem to be leaky, forks automatically miss every bit of food. Ladles breathe stinking, corrosive gas. Hope you don't have a ladle.
- Once the cutlery's user starts to eat, they must save vs magic or become so ravenous that nothing can stop them from devouring anything that is even remotely edible. Bones, wood, shoes, vermin, pets, infants, halflings. Failed saving throws can be re-attempted once per hour.
- The cutlery is possessed by an entire family of lesser demons. They are able to communicate telepathically with others. They promise amazing treasure in exchange for "stabbing someone with the cutlery right in the heart". Of course, they're full of shit. Such stabbing would just swap the souls of the victims with the demonic essences trapped in the items.
I honestly don't know how I figure this shit out. It just appears in my mind.
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