MORE SALE IS MORE BETTER - still a 50% discount!

 

Yup. I decided to prolong the agony promo on all my PDFs on DTRPG. Now it lasts for the entire February!

GET MY POOP PDFS ON DRIVETHRU! NOW FIFTY PERCENT OFF!

End of January sale - 50% discount on all my shit on DTRPG!

That's right. All my PDFs on DriveThruRPG are now 50% off. Which combined with the site-wide sale, drops the prices even more. Promo lasts until the end of the month. Enjoy!

BUY MY STUFF EVEN CHEAPER!

Ridiculous Random Results - Disappointing Treasure

Another random table from my latest release. Roll 1d20 and enjoy your disappointment:

1. Chest full of candies shaped like coins
2. Pouch full with colorful glass shards
3. Sculpture of a chest
4. Moldy leather armor
5. Rugged traveler’s boots, soaked with potent psychedelics
6. Magical tome, totally ruined with tar
7. Scroll tube full of children drawings
8. Miniature full plate armor, rusty
9. Chest within a chest within a chest within a chest
10. Chest with a very complicated lock; the key to open it is the only item inside
11. Two gilded potties, full of ancient “treasure”
12. Beautiful wooden sculpture - unfortunately, it seems it was used as a target practice at least few dozen times
13. Ornate oil lamp made of brass; no Djinn inside
14. Supposedly magical wand, broken in three pieces
15. Wooden case full of small flasks or jars
    
16. Small portable altar or a reliquary, made of a hollowed-out loaf of bread
17. Scroll containing an ancient cipher that turns out to be totally gibberish
18. Map leading the to the Tomb of Thousand Traps
19. Dragon egg, hardboiled
20. Jar containing two dozen goblin testicles, preserved in honey

 

Ridiculous Random Results - what's inside?

 

Some content from my latest booklet- the Ridiculous Random Results which I dropped two days ago - is already available here on the blog. Here's the list of all random tables, as well as linkage to things that were already posted here!

THE SECRET OF POWER
ANNOYING TRAITS OF THE HIRELINGS
EXOTIC RACES/ORIGINS OF THE HIRELINGS
WEIRD ITEMS IN A TOOL LOCKER
RIDICULOUS MAGIC ITEMS
ACCURSED FOOTWEAR
USELESS CREATURES
DEITIES FORGOTTEN FOR A REASON
IDIOTIC CHARACTER BACKGROUND DETAILS
BIZARRE ROOMS
THINGS UNEARTHED BY MISTAKE
ARTIFACTS THAT FELL FROM THE SKY
FAKE ELIXIRS
STRANGE SMALL ITEMS
GOBLIN DISHES
USELESS FURNITURE
MORONIC RUMORS
DISAPPOINTING TREASURE
UNWELCOME GUESTS
NASTY LIGHT SOURCES
FAILED FAMILIARS
MAPS & PLANS
UNUSUAL PETS
FESTIVALS & CELEBRATIONS
USELESS OCCUPATIONS
GOBLIN SAINTS

RIDICULOUS RANDOM RESULTS - OUT NOW!

As you probably noticed, nowadays I prefer to make content that is, well, weirder than usual. And slightly over the top. Or maybe not slightly.

So today I compiled all the bizarre random tabled I made since the release of my previous booklet, added some more, sprinkled it heavily with some Goblin Dust and voila! The book of Ridiculous Random Results was born.

What to expect from it? Tables about useless garbage, absolutely twisted junk and weird creatures. Think of it as of Towers of Krshal - but on acid. On bad trip. And stabbed in the kidney with a rusty, shit-smeared screwdriver.

GRAB THIS GOBLIN SHIT ON DRIVETHRURPG

GRAB THIS GOBLIN SHIT ON LULU (print)

GRAB THIS GOBLIN SHIT ON LULU (pdf)

And - once again - thank you for over a decade of ceaseless support.

TABLE OF CONTENTS!

THE SECRET OF POWER
ANNOYING TRAITS OF THE HIRELINGS
EXOTIC RACES/ORIGINS OF THE HIRELINGS
WEIRD ITEMS IN A TOOL LOCKER
RIDICULOUS MAGIC ITEMS
ACCURSED FOOTWEAR
USELESS CREATURES
DEITIES FORGOTTEN FOR A REASON
IDIOTIC CHARACTER BACKGROUND DETAILS
BIZARRE ROOMS
THINGS UNEARTHED BY MISTAKE
ARTIFACTS THAT FELL FROM THE SKY
FAKE ELIXIRS
STRANGE SMALL ITEMS
GOBLIN DISHES
USELESS FURNITURE
MORONIC RUMORS
DISAPPOINTING TREASURE
UNWELCOME GUESTS
NASTY LIGHT SOURCES
FAILED FAMILIARS
MAPS & PLANS
UNUSUAL PETS
FESTIVALS & CELEBRATIONS
USELESS OCCUPATIONS
GOBLIN SAINTS

PS. Font on the title page will make your eyes bleed.

Twenty Weird Items in a Tool Locker

 

Roll 1d20:

1. Half-melted wrench;
2. Set of seventeen infrared light bulbs, each of different size and socket type;
3. Welding mask shaped like an ant's head;
4. Circular saw blade covered with autographs of people you don't know;
5. Pair of diver's boots;
6. Five screwdrivers bent and knotted together;
7. Rasp made of crystal;
8. Pair of heavy leather gloves, with someone's severed hands still inside;
9. Denture with teeth replaced with wood screws;
10. Cordless drill modified in a way allowing it to shoot drill bits;
11. Mysterious map made of scraps of sandpaper glued together;
12. Necklace made of mirror-polished screw nuts;
13. A perfect cube of cast iron, with each side measuring exactly 66,6 millimeters;
14. Hard hat adorned with a pair of antlers;
15. Large hammer with a head on each tip;
16. Harp made of a shovel and a flute made of a fragment of copper piping;
    
17. Ginormous screw, at least three feet long and weighing more than 40 lbs;
18. Dildo made of berylium;
19. Huge welding iron, more resembling a sword than a tool;
20. Thirteen metal buckets put in one another and spot-welded together. 

Happy 2025, you bastards!